Part II Chapter 4 Doctor Dolittle's Garden by Hugh Lofting
DOMESTIC INSECTS
I have never seen poor Dab-Dab in such a state of fuss and annoyance in my life as she was these days.
"It was bad enough," she said to me one evening on the brink of tears, "when the Doctor used to fill the house with lame badgers and rheumatic field mice. But this is a thousand times worse. What's the use of my trying to keep the house clean when he does nothing but ruin and smother it with bugs and insects. The latest is he is making friends with the spiders in the cellar. Their webs, he says, mustn't be brushed away. For years I've been working to get the place free of cockroaches; and last night he was hunting everywhere with a lantern.
"'Surely, Dab-Dab,' says he, 'we have some cockroaches?'
"'Surely we have not,' says I. 'It took me a long time to get rid of them, but I succeeded at last. Not one roach will you find in my kitchen!'
"'Dear, dear!' he mutters. 'I wanted one to talk to. I wonder if Matthew Mugg would have any in his house!'
"And off he goes to get that good-for-nothing Matthew to supply him with cockroaches. Of course once they get back in the house they'll breed and be all over the place again in no time; and all because he wants to talk to them, mind you. And who cares, I'd like to know, what a cockroach might have to say—or a spider either? That's the worst of the Doctor, he has no—er—sense in some things."
"Well, Dab-Dab," said I consolingly, "this present study may not last very long, you know. There are so many fresh branches of natural history continually claiming his attention, it's quite possible that by next week he will be off on a new departure entirely and you will be able to get your house in order again."
Dab-Dab shook her head sadly.
"I haven't much hope," said she. "There's a whole lot of different bugs he has still to listen to, as he calls it. Why, do you know, Tommy, what I heard him saying the other day?"
The housekeeper dropped her voice and glanced guiltily over her shoulder.
"I heard him asking Jip if he thought fleas could talk!"
"And what did Jip say?" I asked. I confess I could not help smiling at the look of horroir on her face.
"Well," said she, "happily Jip gave him very little encouragement. 'Fleas?' he growled.—'All they can do is bite. Don't have anything to do with 'em, Doctor. They're a dirty lot!'"
At this moment John Dolittle came into the room bearing a small tray of maggots.
"Stubbins," said he, "I want to do some experimental work with these. If you will come with me we will begin with listening machine number seventeen."
"Ugh!" grunted Dab-Dab, glancing into the tray. "What gooey, messy-looking things!"
Without further delay the Doctor and I proceeded to our apparatus-sheds and set to work. We had quite good results. It seemed that several of the maggots—particularly one large and lively white one—had somehow got the drift of Dab-Dab's remark and were considerably offended by it.
"She has no right whatever to call us gooey and messy," said the Maggot. "Personally, to me ducks and people are much more gooey and messy than nice, clean, athletic maggots. And we would be glad if you would tell her so."
"And you know, Stubbins," said the Doctor after I had written this down into a note-book under the heading of Experiment No. 179, "I quite sympathize with their feelings in the matter. This idea of—er—revulsion and dislike on the part of one member of the animal kingdom for another is quite baseless and stupid. Myself, I've never felt that way towards any living thing. I won't say that I'd choose a maggot or a snail to make a warm personal friend of. But certainly I would not regard them as being unclean or less entitled to respect than myself. I will certainly speak to Dab-Dab. Now we want to get some information from these maggots about their geographical distribution. I would like to know roughly over what parts of the world their species is to be found. This big fellow seems quite lively and intelligent. Just raise the temperature another five degrees, will you?—And turn on a trifle more humidity. Then we will question him."
The subject of how various insects got scattered over the different countries and continents was one that greatly interested John Dolittle about this time and he was engaged in writing a pamphlet on it.
Well, the maggot told us a very entertaining story of travel and adventure, but he was not very helpful on the question of geographical distribution. He had not on the journey he described observed any of those things that would have been of scientific value to us.
"It's too bad, Stubbins," said the Doctor. "I fear we can't get any further on this experiment for the present. However, I have a water beetle in one of my glass tanks who, I think, can give me a much more definite record of his travels—a record which may help us to show pretty exactly how his species comes to be found on the American side of the Atlantic and on this side also. If you will come to the study with me we will see what we can do."