Part IV Chapter 1 Doctor Dolittle's Circus by Hugh Lofting
BACK TO THE CIRCUS
And now, with money in his pocket to pay for a ride, John Dolittle set about finding a coach that would carry him back in the direction of Ashby.
At the village of Appledyke his little country lane led him on to a bigger highway running north and south. Making inquiries of the village blacksmith, he found that coaches plied this road and that he could expect one to pass in about half an hour. So, after buying some toffee at the one small shop which Appledyke could boast of the Doctor settled down to wait, munching his sweetmeats to pass the time.
About four o'clock in the afternoon a coach came along and took him to the next large town. From there he caught a night coach going east; and in the early hours of the following morning he was back within ten miles of Ashby again.
The remainder of the journey he thought he had better do on foot for safety's sake. So after he had a shave and a breakfast and a rest at an inn, he set out to walk the short remaining distance.
He had not gone more than about a mile before he came upon some gypsies camped by the side of the road. One old woman among them hailed him, offering to tell his fortune. The Doctor didn't want his fortune told, but stopped to chat. In the course of conversation he mentioned Blossom's Circus. The gypsies then told him that it was no longer at Ashby, but had left for the next town.
On his asking for the right road to take to reach the next town, the gypsies told him that a man with a wagon, who was on his way to join Blossom's circus, had passed them only half an hour ago. If he hurried on, they said, he might easily overtake him, as his horse was a slow walker.
The way from here to the town where the circus would next perform was rather a complicated cross-country journey; and the Doctor thought it would be much easier if he had some one with him who knew the way. He therefore thanked the gypsies and hastened on to try and catch the man who was bound, like himself, for Blossom's Circus.
By making inquiries of the wayfarers along the road, the Doctor was able to follow the route the man had taken. And about noon he came up with him halted at the roadside taking his lunch.
His wagon was very peculiar. All four sides of it were covered with signs. "Use Doctor Brown's Ointment," "Have Your Teeth Pulled by Doctor Brown," "Doctor Brown's Syrup Cures All Liver Complaints," "Doctor Brown's Pills" do this--"Doctor Brown's Liniment" does that, etc.
After reading all the advertisements with much medical interest, John Dolittle went up to the fat man who was eating bread and cheese by the roadside.
"Pardon me!" said he politely. "Am I addressing Doctor Brown himself?"
"That's me," said the man with his mouth full. "What can I do for you? Want a tooth pulled?"
"No," said the Doctor. "But I understand you are going to join Blossom's Circus. Is that so?"
"Yes. I'm meeting it at Stowbury. Why?"
"Well, I was on my way to the same destination," said the Doctor. "I thought, perhaps, I might accompany you--if you have no objection."
Doctor Brown said he had no objection, and after he had finished his lunch he invited John Dolittle into his wagon while he got ready to hitch up. The inside of the wagon seemed to be principally used for making the medicines which were advertised on the outside. And the most important things in their preparation were, as far as Doctor could see, lard and salad oil. Brown himself seemed a vulgar sort of person--not in the least like a real doctor. And presently John Dolittle began asking him questions about where he had got his medical degree; at what hospital he had learned dentistry, etc. Brown didn't like this at all and seemed rather annoyed at the Doctor's cross-examination.
Finally John Dolittle came to the conclusion that the man was most likely nothing but a quack selling fake medicines. He decided he would sooner go on alone. So, without waiting for Brown, he set off down the road ahead of him on foot.
The way the Doctor first knew that he was nearing the circus was by hearing Jip's bark in the distance. The sound was joined by two other barks. And presently, rounding a bend in the highway, he found Jip, Toby and Swizzle all yapping about the foot of a tree, up which they had chased a black cat. Still further down the road he saw the tail end of the wagon-train winding on its way.
As soon as he came in view the dogs forgot all about the cat and came racing down the road.
"Doctor! Doctor!" yelped Jip. "How did everything go off? Did Sophie get away?"
Then the three of them jumped all over him, and he had to answer a hundred questions at once. From beginning to end he told the story of his adventurous journey to the sea. And when a little later he overtook the circus train and reached his own wagon he had to tell it all over again for the benefit of the rest of his delighted family.
Dab-Dab hustled around and prepared a meal right away--a sort of tea-and-supper-combined arrangement; and she kept the rest of the household busy pulling out the bed linen to be aired, so that the Doctor should have dry sheets to sleep in.
Then Matthew Mugg got wind of his great friend's arrival, and he came and joined the party, and the story had to be told a third time.
"It was a great piece of work, Doctor," said he--"couldn't have gone better. Blossom never got the least suspicious that you was in it at all."
"What's happened to Higgins?" asked the Doctor.
"Oh, 'e's doing honest work now. Took a stable-man's job in Ashby. Good thing, too! 'E's no loss to the circus business anyhow."
"Has Blossom put on any extra turn to take Sophie's place?" asked the Doctor.
"No," said Matthew. "We were short 'anded for a bit. But Hercules the strong man is back on the job now and the show's as good as ever."
"And we've made lots of money with our part of it, Doctor," cried Too-Too. "How much do you think the pushmi-pullyu took in last week?"
"I've no idea."
"Twelve pounds nine shillings and sixpence!"
"Great heavens!" cried the Doctor. "That's enormous--twelve pounds a week! That's more than I ever made in the best days of my practice. Why, we'll soon be able to retire at that rate!"
"What do you mean, retire, Doctor?" asked Toby, pushing his head up onto the Doctor's knee.
"Well, we hadn't meant to stay in the business for good, you know," said John Dolittle. "I have work of my own to look after in Puddleby --and--and--oh, heaps of things to attend to."
"I see," said Toby sadly. "I thought you were going to stay with us for quite a while."
"But how about the Dolittle Circus, Doctor?" asked Swizzle. "Aren't you going to try that idea--the reformed show we talked about?"
"It's a great notion, Doctor," Jip put in. "All the animals are crazy about the scheme. They've been working out the details of their own part of the performance."
"And what about our theatre, Doctor--'The Animals' Own Theatre'?" Gub-Gub put in. "I've written a play for it since you've been gone. It's called The Bad Tomato. I do the comic fat lady's part. I know my lines by heart already."
"And what about the house in Puddleby? That's what I'd like to know?" said Dab-Dab, angrily brushing the crumbs off the table. "All you animals ever think of is having a good time. You never think of the Doctor and what he wants. You never think of the house going to ruin back there and the garden turning into the jungle. The Doctor has his own work and his own home and his own life to attend to."
A little silence followed the housekeeper's furious outburst, and Toby and Swizzle rather shamefacedly retired under the table.
"Well," said the Doctor at last, "there is something in what Dab-Dab says. I do think as soon as the pushmi-pullyu has made enough to pay back the sailor for his boat--and a little to spare--we ought to think about leaving the business."
"Oh, dear!" sighed Toby. "The Dolittle Circus would have been such a wonderful show!"
"Heigh ho!" said Gub-Gub. "And I would have been simply splendid as a fat lady. I always thought I ought to have been a comic actor."
"Huh!" snorted Dab-Dab. "Last week you said you ought to have been a greengrocer."
"Well," said Gub-Gub. "I could be both--a comic greengrocer. Why not?"
That same night Blossom's Circus entered the town of Stowbury. And, as usual, before dawn the next morning the tents had been set up and everything got in readiness for showing.
As soon as the news of the Doctor's arrival got about, Mr. Blossom came to see him. And from all appearance John Dolittle decided that no suspicions had been aroused in the mind of the ringmaster by his "business" trip.
Another caller at the Doctor's stand that morning was Hercules the strong man. Hercules had never forgotten the kind attention shown him at the time of his accident, and he was glad to find that his friend had returned. His pleasant chat was cut short, however, when he suddenly discovered that it was time for him to give his first performance. The Doctor accompanied him back to his stand.
While returning across the circus enclosure the Doctor noticed, as he passed the tent of Fatima the snake charmer, a strong odor of chloroform. Fearing an accident might have happened, he went inside and found that Fatima was out at the moment. Within the tent the smell was stronger, and it seemed to be coming from the snake box. The Doctor looked into the box and found the six snakes in an almost unconscious state from the drug. One of them still had sense enough left to tell the Doctor, in answer to his questions, that Fatima always dosed them with chloroform on hot days, when they were too lively, in order to make them easier to handle for her performance. They hated it, the snake said, because it gave them headaches.
On this pleasant, sunny morning the Doctor had forgotten, for a moment, the wretched condition of many of the animals which had so often sickened him of the whole circus business. This piece of senseless cruelty threw him into a boiling rage and he hurried off at once to look for Blossom.
He found him in the big tent and Fatima with him. The Doctor firmly demanded that the custom of chloroforming the snakes be forbidden. Blossom merely smiled and pretended to be busy with other matters, while Fatima hurled a lot of vulgar language at the Doctor's head.
Discouraged and sad, John Dolittle left the tent, intending to return to his own wagon. The gates were now open and the crowds were coming in thick and fast. The Doctor was wondering how American blacksnakes would manage in the English climate if he contrived their escape, when he noticed a throng of visitor's collecting about a platform down at the other end of the enclosure.
At this moment Matthew came up and joined him, and together they started toward the platform. On this the Doctor now saw his acquaintance, Doctor Brown, delivering a lecture about the wonders of his pills and ointments, which could cure in one dose all the ailments known to mankind.
"What arrangement has this fellow with Blossom?" the Doctor asked of Matthew.
"Oh, he pays him a rake-off," said the Cat's-Meat-Man. "Blossom gets so much on all he takes in. He's going on with us to the next three towns, I hear. Doing a good trade, ain't he?"
Indeed, Doctor Brown was very busy. Country yokels, after listening to his noisy medical lectures, were buying his wares right and left.
"Go and get me a pot of that ointment, will you, Matthew?" said the Doctor. "Here's some money--and get me a box of the pills as well."
"All right," said Matthew with a grin. "But I don't reckon you'll find them much good."
The Cat's-Meat-Man returned with the purchases and the Doctor took them to his wagon. There he opened them, smelled them, examined them and tested them with chemicals from his little black bag.
"Rubbish and bunkum!" he cried when he had ended. "This is just highway robbery. Why did I ever go into this rotten show business? Matthew, get me a step-ladder."
The Cat's-Meat-Man went out, disappeared behind some tents and presently returned with the step-ladder.
"Thank you," said the Doctor, putting it on his shoulder and marching off toward the platform. There was a dangerous light in his eyes.
"What are you going to do, Doctor?" asked Matthew, hurrying after him.
"I'm going to give a medical lecture myself," said the Doctor. "Those people are not going to pay their money for quack rubbish if I can help it."
Jip, who was sitting at the door of his wagon, suddenly pricked up his ears and sprang to his feet.
"Toby," he called over his shoulder, "the Doctor's going over to the patent medicine man's platform. He's got a step-ladder. He looks awfully mad about something. There's going to be a row, I fancy. Get Swizzle and let's go and see the fun."
John Dolittle on reaching the crowd at Brown's lecture stand set up his step-ladder right opposite to the speaker, and Matthew Mugg cleared a space around it so the audience shouldn't knock it over while the Doctor climbed it.
At the moment of his arrival Brown was holding up in his left hand a pot of ointment.
"This preparation which I 'old in my 'and, ladies and gentlemen," he bawled, "is the greatest remedy in the world for sciatica, lumbago, neuralgia, ague and gout. It 'as been hendorsed* by all the leadin' physicians. It is the same what is used by the royal family of Belgium and the Shah of Persia. One application of this marvelous remedy will--"
At this point another voice, still more powerful, interrupted the lecture. The people all turned around, and there behind them, perched on a step-ladder stood a little round man with a battered high hat on his head.
"Ladies and gentleman*," said the Doctor, "what this man is telling you is not true. His ointment contains nothing but lard mixed with a little perfume. His pills are no good either. I do not recommend you to buy any."
For a moment there was a dead silence. While Doctor Brown was trying to think up something to say, the voice of a woman, Fatima the snake charmer, was heard from the edge of the crowd.
"Don't you listen to him," she yelled pointing a fat finger at John Dolittle. "He's nothing but a showman. He doesn't know anything about medicines. Push 'im orf 'is ladder."
"Just a minute," said the Doctor, addressing the crowd again. "It is true that I am in the show business--for the moment. But I am a medical graduate of the University of Durham. I am prepared to stand by what I have said. These preparations which this man is trying to sell you are worthless. Also I have grave doubts about his education in dentistry and I do not advise any of you to have your tooth touched by him."
The crowd now began to get restless. Several people had already purchased Brown's wares and these could now be seen making their way to the platform and demanding their money back. Brown refused it and tried to make another address to his audience in answer to the Doctor's statements.
"Listen," yelled John Dolittle from his ladder. "I challenge this man to produce a medical degree or credentials of any kind to prove that he is a qualified doctor or dentist. He is a quack."
"You're a fake yourself," yelled Brown. "I'll have the law on you for libel."
"Push 'im down!" howled Fatima. "Mob 'im!"
But the people did not seem inclined to follow her orders. Presently the Doctor was recognized by one of his old patients among the audience--just as he had been in the case of strong man's accident some weeks before. A little old lady suddenly waved an umbrella above the crowd.
"That's John Dolittle," she shouted, "who cured my son Joe of whopping cough back in Puddleby ten years ago. Like to die he was. He's a real doctor--none better in the West Country. T' other's a quack. Ye be fools if ye turn a deaf ear to what John Dolittle tells ye."
Then other voices were heard here and there among the crowd. The general restlessness increased. More people struggled forward to Brown's platform to bring back the wares they had bought. A growing murmur arose.
"Mob 'im! Knock 'im down!" yelled Fatima, trying to make herself heard.
Doctor Brown thrust aside two men who had climbed up onto his stand for their money, came to the edge of the platform and opened his mouth to begin another medical lecture.
But a large, well-aimed turnip suddenly sailed across the heads of the audience and hit him squarely in the face. The mobbing had begun --but it wasn't directed against John Dolittle. Soon carrots, potatoes, stones, all manner of missiles, were flying through the air.
"Grab 'im!" yelled the crowd. "He's a crook."
And the next moment the whole audience surged toward the platform yelling and shaking their fists.