Part IV Chapter 4 Doctor Dolittle's Circus by Hugh Lofting
ANOTHER TALKING HORSE
"I am not telling you a yarn," said the Doctor quietly. "I am telling you the truth. But I can see that you will not believe me till I prove it to you."
"You bet I won't," sneered Blossom.
"Well, there are five horses in this stable, aren't there?" asked the Doctor. "And none of them can see me here where I stand, can they? Now if you will ask me to put some question to any one of them I will endeavor to give you his answer."
"Oh, you're crazy!" said Blossom. "I ain't got time to fool with you."
"All right," said the Doctor. "My intention was to help, as I told you. But, of course, if you don't want my assistance, then that ends the matter."
He shrugged his shoulders and turned away. The noise of clapping sounded from the big tent.
"Ask Beppo," said Blossom, "what's the number of the stall he's in."
Beppo's was the second from the end. On his door was marked a large "2" in white paint.
"Do you wish to have him tell me the answer in horse language?" asked the Doctor, "or shall I have him tap the number?"
"Have him tap the partition with his foot, Professor," sneered Blossom. "I don't know no horse grammar; and I couldn't tell, t'other way, whether you are faking or not."
"Very good," said the Doctor. And from where he stood, quite invisible to Beppo, he made some snuffy breathing noises-- rather as though he had a cold in his head. Immediately two taps sounded from stall No. 2.
Blossom's eyebrows went up in surprise. But almost immediately he shrugged his shoulders.
"Pshaw!" Could easily 'ave been an accident. Maybe he just fell against the partition. Ask 'im--er--ask 'im 'ow many buttons I 'ave on my waistcoat--the one your cross-eyed assistant is wearing in the ring now."
"All right," said the Doctor. And he made some more snuffly noises, ending with a gentle whinny.
But this time, unintentionally, he did not include Beppo's name in his message. Now all the five horses in that stable knew Blossom's waistcoat very well, of course. And each one thought the question was being asked of him. Suddenly from every stall six sharp rags rang out, and even poor Nino, lying in the straw with eyes closed, stretched out a hind leg and weakly kicked his door six times. Mr. Blossom's eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of his head.
"Now," said the Doctor smiling, "in case you should think that that was accidental too, I will ask Beppo to pull down the rag you see there hanging on his partition and to throw it up in the air."
In response to a few more words of horse language the rag, whose end hung over the top of the partition, suddenly disappeared. The Doctor had not moved. Blossom ran down the stable to look inside stall No. 2. There he found the aged wagon horse tossing the rag up in the air and catching it--rather like a school girl playing with a handkerchief.
"Now do you believe me," asked the Doctor.
"Believe you!" cried Blossom. "I believe you're the Devil's younger brother. Just the same, you're the man I want, all right. Come on down to the dressing room and let's put some togs on you."
"Just a minute," said the Doctor. "What do you mean to do?"
"Dress you up," said Blossom, "of course. You're going to do a turn for us, ain't yet? Why you could take any cab horse and make a Nino of him. You said you was going to help me?"
"Yes," answered John Dolittle slowly, "and I will--after, as I told you, you have promised me a few things. I am willing to make Beppo provide your ring with a talking horse on certain condition. Nino's act doesn't come on till the end of the show. We have a half-hour to talk this over in."
"There's no need," cried Blossom, all excited. "I'll promise you any bloomin' things. Why, if you can talk animals' language we'll make a fortune in a season! Lor' bless us! I never believed you could do it. You ought to 'ave joined the show business years ago. You'd 'ave bin a rich man by now--instead of a broken-down country doctor. Come on over and we'll pick you out some nifty togs. Can't go on in them baggy trousers; people 'ud think you'd never bin on a horse in your life."
Blossom and the Doctor left the stable and made their way across to the dressing rooms where out of some of the well-traveled trunks the ringmaster began pulling costume after costume and piling them on the floor. Whilst he was going through the gaudy clothes the Doctor laid down the conditions under which he would give the performance.
"Now, Mr. Blossom," said he, "ever since I have been with your concern I have noticed certain things that were distasteful to my ideas of honest business and the humanitarian treatment of animals. Some of these I have brought to your attention and in almost all cases you refused to listen to me."
"Why, Doctor," said Mr. Blossom, yanking a pair of red Persian trousers out of a trunk, "how can you say such a thing? Didn't I get rid of Brown and Fatima because you objected to 'em?"
"You parted with them because you had to," said the Doctor, "not to oblige me. I have felt very uneasy about being part of a show which I did not consider strictly honest. It would take a long time to go into all the details. For the present, the bargain I am going to strike with you is this: Beppo, the horse I will use for the talking act, is far too old to work. He has been in service now thirty-five years. I want him, as a reward for this help which he will give you, to be pensioned off for the remainder of his days, made comfortable and given the kind of life he likes."
"I agree. Now how would this do?"
Blossom held up a cavalier's jerkin against the Doctor's chest. "No--too small. You ain't very high from the ground, but you're full-sized around the middle, all right."
"The other thing I want you to do," the Doctor went on, as Blossom turned back to the trunk for another costume, "is to put your menagerie in proper order. The cages are not cleaned often enough; some of the animals have not sufficient space for their needs, and many of them never get the kinds of food they like best."
"All right, Doc, we'll do anything in reason. I'll let you draw up a set of rules for the menagerie-keeper and you can see that he toes the line. 'Ow would you like to be a Western cowboy?"
"I wouldn't," said the Doctor. "They are inconsiderate to their cattle. And I don't approve of that silly business of flapping a hat in a horse's eyes to make him buck. Then, for the rest, I shall from time to time expect you to make many minor reforms for the animals' comfort. I shall expect you to treat my suggestions reasonably and cooperate with me for their welfare. What do you say?"
"I say it's a go, Doc," said Blossom. "We ain't begun yet. If you stay with my outfit for a year--with your gift of talking to animals--why!--I'll make every other circus look like a two-penny peepshow.--Oh, my! 'Ere's the very thing--a cavalry uniform--Twenty-first Huzzars. Just your size. Medals and all! Suits your complexion, too."
This time Blossom held a bright scarlet tunic over the Doctor's bosom and beamed on him with delight.
"Ever seen anything so nifty!" he chuckled. "My word! I tell yer-- we'll make this town sit up! Could you get these things on your feet?"
"Oh, I dare say," said the Doctor, taking a gaudy pair of military riding boots from the ringmaster and sitting down to unlace his own. At that moment the door opened and a stable boy came in.
"Joe, you're just in time," said Blossom. "Run over to the stables and give Beppo a rub down with the currycomb. He's going to do an act."
"Beppo!" cried the boy incredulously.
"That's what I said, block-'ead!" shouted Blossom. "And put the green 'alter on 'im with the white rosettes--and braid 'is tail with a red ribbon. Hop about it!"
As the lad disappeared the clown with Swizzle entered for a short rest between acts. The Doctor, in smart regimental breeches and top boots, was now buttoning up the scarlet tunic about his chin.
"'Ow's my cross-eyed understudy doing?" asked Blossom.
"Governor, he's a wonder!" said Hop sinking into a chair. "A born ringmaster. You never heard such a voice. He's got a gift of the gab, all right. Ready with a joke if anybody slips; cracking quips with the audience--I tell you, governor, you've got to look to your laurels if you leave him with the ladies for long. Who's the military gentleman? My hat, it's the Doctor! What's he going to do?"
At this moment another lad ran in.
"Only ten minutes before the last act goes on, Mr. Blossom," he cried.
"All right," said Blossom. "We can do it. Here's your sword-belt, Doctor. How's the crowd, Frank?"
"Great!" said the boy. "Pleased as Punch! They brought the whole grammar school down at the last minute. And the Soldier's and Sailors' Home is coming to-night. People standing two deep in the aisles. It's the biggest business we've played to this year."