Part IV Chapter 3 Doctor Dolittle's Post Office by Hugh Lofting
PEARLS AND BRUSSELS SPROUTS
Disappointed and sad, Dab-Dab and the Doctor started to paddle their way back.
"I think I'll stop in at the post office before I return to Chief Nyam-Nyam's country," said the Doctor. "There's nothing more I can do about the pearls, I suppose. But I'd like to see if everything else is going all right."
"Wilkins may get caught yet—by the government," said Dab-Dab. "And if he does we might get the pearls back, after all."
"Not much chance of that, I'm afraid," said John Dolittle. "He will probably sell them the first chance he gets. That's all he wants them for—for the money they'll bring in. Whereas the young spoonbills appreciated their beauty. It's a shame they should lose them—and when they were in my care, too. Well—it's no use crying over spilt milk. They're gone. That's all."
As they were approaching the houseboat they noticed a large number of canoes collected about it. To-day was not one of the outgoing or incoming mail days and the Doctor wondered what the excitement could be.
Fastening up his own canoe, he went into the post office. And inside there was quite a crowd. He made his way through it with Dab-Dab and in the registered mail booth he found all the animals gathered around a small black squirrel. The little creature's legs were tied with post office red tape and he seemed very frightened and miserable. Speedy and Cheapside were mounting guard over him, one on each side.
"What's all this about?" asked the Doctor.
"We've caught the fellow who stole the pearls, Doctor," said Speedy.
"And we've got the pearls, too," cried Too-Too. "They're in the stamp drawer and Jip is guarding them."
"But I don't understand," said John Dolittle. "I thought Wilkins had made off with them."
"Those must have been some other stolen pearls, Doctor," said Dab-Dab. "Let's take a look at the ones Jip has."
The Doctor went and opened the stamp drawer. And there, inside, sure enough, were the three pink beauties he had sent by registered mail.
"How did you find them?" he asked, turning to Speedy.
"Well, after you had set off in the canoe," said the Skimmer, "I and the thrush stopped on our way back here at the tree where he had lost the package. It was too dark then to hunt for it, so we roosted in the tree all night, intending to look in the morning. Just as dawn was breaking we saw this wretched squirrel here flirting about in the branches with an enormous pink pearl in his mouth. I at once pounced on him and held him down, while the thrush took the pearl away from him. Then we made him tell us where he had hidden the other two. And after we had got all three of them we put the squirrel under arrest and brought him here."
"Dear me!" said the Doctor, looking at the miserable culprit, who was all tied up with red tape. "What made you steal the pearls?"
At first the squirrel seemed almost too frightened to speak. So the Doctor took a pair of scissors and cut the bonds that held him.
"Why did you do it?" he repeated.
"I thought they were Brussels sprouts," said the squirrel timidly. "A few weeks ago when I and my wife were sitting in a tree we suddenly smelled the smell of Brussels sprouts, awful strong, all about us. I and my wife are very fond of this vegetable and we wondered where the smell was coming from. And then, looking up, we saw thousands of thrushes passing overhead, carrying Brussels sprouts in their mouths. We hoped they would stop so we could get a few. But they didn't. So we agreed that perhaps more would be coming over in a few days. And we arranged to stay around that same tree and wait. And, sure enough, this morning I saw one of these same thrushes alight in the tree, carrying a package. 'Pst!' I whispered to the wife. 'More Brussels sprouts. Let's bag his parcel while he's not looking!' And bag it I did. But when we opened it we found nothing but these wretched gew-gaws. I thought they might be some new kind of rock candy and I was on my way to find a stone to crack them with when this bird grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and arrested me. I didn't want the beastly pearls."
"Well," said the Doctor, "I'm sorry you've been put to such inconvenience. I'll have Dab-Dab carry you back to your family. But, you know, robbing the registered mail is a serious thing. If you wanted some Brussels sprouts you should have written to me. After all, you can't blame the birds for putting you under arrest."
"Stolen fruit's the sweetest, Doctor," said Cheapside. "If you 'ad given 'im a ton of 'ot-'ouse grapes 'e wouldn't 'ave enjoyed 'em 'alf as much as something 'e pinched. I'd give 'im a couple of years 'ard labor, if I was you—just to learn 'im to leave the mails alone."
"Well, never mind, we'll forget it," said the Doctor. "It's only a boyish escapade."
"Boyish fiddlesticks!" growled Cheapside. "'E's the father of a large family—and a natural-born pickpocket. All squirrels are like that. Don't I know 'em in the city parks—with their mincin' ways that the folks call 'cute'? Cheekiest beggars that ever was—pinch a crumb from under your nose and pop into an 'ole with it before you could get your breath. Boyish hescapade!"
"Come along," said Dab-Dab, picking the wretched culprit up in her big webbed feet. "I'll take you back to the mainland. And you can thank your lucky stars that it's the Doctor who is in charge of this post office. It's to jail you really ought to go."
"Oh, and hurry back, Dab-Dab," the Doctor called after her as she flapped her way through the open window and set off across the sea with her burden. "I'm going to start right away for Chief Nyam-Nyam's country as soon as you are ready.
"I'll take the pearls myself this time," he said to Speedy, "and hand them over to the spoonbill in person. We don't want any more accidents happening to them."
About noon the Doctor started out a second time upon his holiday trip and as Gub-Gub, Jip and the white mouse begged to be taken along, the canoe was well loaded.
They reached Nyam-Nyam's village about six o'clock in the evening and the old chief prepared a supper for his guests. There was very little to eat at it, however. And the Doctor was again reminded how poor these people were.
While talking with the old chief the Doctor found out that the worst enemy his country had was the Kingdom of Dahomey. This big and powerful neighbor was, it seemed, always making war upon Chief Nyam-Nyam and cutting off parts of his land and making the people poorer still. Now, the soldiers of Dahomey were Amazons—that is, they were women soldiers. And although they were women, they were very big and strong and there were a terrible lot of them. So whenever they attacked the small country next to them they easily won and took what they wanted.
As it happened, they made an attack that night while the Doctor was staying with the Chief. And about ten o'clock everybody was awakened out of his sleep with cries of "War! War! The Amazons are here!"
There was terrible confusion. And until the moon had risen people were hitting and falling over one another everywhere in the darkness, not knowing friend from enemy.
When it was possible to see, however, the Doctor found that most of Chief Nyam-Nyam's people had fled off into the jungle; and the Amazons, in thousands, were just going through the village, taking anything they fancied. The Doctor tried to argue with them, but they merely laughed at him.
Then the white mouse, who was watching the show from the Doctor's shoulder, whispered in his ear:
"If this is an army of women, Doctor, I think I know of a way to deal with them. Women are terribly afraid of mice, you know. I'll just go off and collect a few in the village and see what we can do."
So the white mouse went off and gathered an army of his own, about two hundred mice, which lived in the grass walls and floors of the huts. And then suddenly they attacked the Amazons and began nipping them in the legs.
With shrieks and howls the fat women soldiers dropped the things they had been stealing and ran helter-skelter for home. And that was one time the famous Amazons of Dahomey didn't have it all their own way.
The Doctor told his pet he could be very proud of himself. For he was surely the only mouse in the world that ever won a war.