Part II Chapter 10 Doctor Dolittle's Return by Hugh Lofting
LADY MATILDA BEAMISH
John Dolittle was all for following our unlucky friend, but I persuaded him not to. "I think he'll be all right, Doctor," I said. "And certainly, as he told you, you don't want to get known at the Court House yet—for fear they think there is something funny about us."
"They'll think that in any case if we go on this way," said the Doctor gloomily. "But, Stubbins, I can't bear to feel I have got Matthew into jail. For years I've been trying to persuade him to keep out of it. I almost wish I hadn't started out on this crazy idea."
"Oh, Doctor," said I. "As far as Matthew is concerned, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. He's so—well—he's so experienced in these matters."
"Yes," said the Doctor thoughtfully, "that is true. But still if I'm to get into Gilesborough jail I don't think I should wait for his assistance any further. I'd better leave the bank alone, don't you think?"
"Yes, Doctor," said I. "I think I would."
We went on strolling down the main street till presently we came to the outskirts of the town, where there were no shops any more, just private houses.
"This looks like a prosperous place," said the Doctor, stopping before a large house with a very elegant front. "I should think the folks here could easily afford a broken window, what? Well, here goes! Now listen, Stubbins, you better keep out of the way. We don't want the wrong man arrested a second time."
The Doctor drew a stone from his pocket and let fly at a big window on the ground floor. Another crash, and more sounds of falling glass. We waited, watching the front door for some one to come out. No one came. Presently an urchin stepped up behind us.
"Mister," said he, "there ain't no use in breaking the windows in that house."
"Why?" asked the Doctor.
"The people's gone away," said the boy. "Yes, gone abroad for the winter. I broke all the windows in the back yesterday and no one even chased me off the place!"
"Good gracious!" murmured the Doctor. "Have I got to spoil every house in this town before I get stopped? Come, Stubbins, let us go on."
Once more we sauntered, looking for points of attack.
"I don't seem to be doing very well," said the Doctor dismally. "I had no idea how difficult it was to get into jail."
"Well, Doctor," I said, "I suppose there's a good deal in looking the part, as they say. Matthew didn't seem to find it difficult to get into jail."
"Look," said the Doctor, pointing down the street. "There's another big house—with lots of carriages driving up to the door. I wonder what's going on there."
"Most likely they're giving a tea-party, or something of the kind," I said. "See, there's a policeman there regulating the traffic."
"A policeman!" cried the Doctor. "Why, so there is! This is splendid, Stubbins. I can't go wrong this time. Important people with plenty of money; a party going on; crowds of witnesses, and a policeman. He'll just be bound to arrest me.—I'll report him for neglect of duty if he doesn't!"
When we came up to the house we saw there was quite a gathering of townspeople watching the guests driving up in their carriages. It certainly seemed to be quite a large and elegant affair which was going on. The Doctor told me to hang back; and he elbowed his way into the crowd till he was near enough to make sure of his aim. By standing on tiptoe, from where I was I could see him and his tall hat plainly. Again he took a stone from his pocket and scored a bull's-eye on the largest of the ground-floor windows.
Another crash—and once more the clatter of falling glass. This noise was instantly followed by indignant cries from the crowd. Everybody drew away from the Doctor as though they feared he was dangerous. Suddenly, as it were, he was left all by himself in the centre of a small ring, blushing ridiculously but looking quite happy and triumphant. The policeman came through the crowd and looked at him. He was clearly very puzzled by the respectable appearance of the stone-thrower. His eye roamed over the Doctor's satchel, his top hat, and his kind, genial face.
"Pardon me, sir," said he, "but was it you who threw that stone?"
"Yes," said the Doctor, "I threw the stone. My pockets are full of them, look!"
He pulled a handful out of his pocket and showed them.
"'E's an anarchist," I heard some one in the crowd whisper. "I'll bet yer 'e makes bombs in 'is bathroom!"
"Maybe 'e's crazy," said a woman near me. "'E's got an awful queer look in his eye—Come back there, Willie! You keep away from 'im! 'E might bite' yer, or something!"
But the constable seemed more puzzled than ever.
"Did you throw it—er—on purpose, sir?" he asked in a disbelieving voice.
"Oh, yes, indeed!" said the Doctor brightly. "Let me show you."
He took another stone from his pocket and drew back his arm.
"No, no," said the policeman, hurriedly stopping him. "You needn't break any more. You can explain to the magistrate. You must come with me. And it's my duty to warn you that anything you say now may be used in evidence against you."
"Well, just tell me what to say and I'll say it," said the Doctor eagerly as he moved away at the policeman's side.
"Yes, 'e's crazy all right," murmured the woman near me. "Come along, Willie. Time to go home."
"Maybe he was annoyed because he didn't get asked to the party, Ma," said Willie.
The commotion inside the house was now greater than that outside. Maids and footmen were flying around, pulling down blinds. The front door was shut and bolted. It looked as though they feared a bombardment of stones from the crowd.
As soon as the Doctor and the policeman had got to the outskirts of the mob I began following them, keeping a hundred yards or so behind. This was not difficult because the helmet of the tall constable could be easily seen at quite a distance. It was clearly the policeman's intention to avoid people following; because he took back streets instead of main ones.
After a little I decided it was no longer necessary for me to keep back out of the way. The deed was done now and the Doctor need no longer fear that I would be accused of having a hand in it. So presently, when the pair were going through a quiet little alley, I overtook them.
The constable asked me who I was and what I wanted. I explained that I was a friend of the man he had arrested and I wished to go with them to the police-station. To this he made no objection and the three of us marched on together.
"Stubbins," said the Doctor, "can't you think of something I could say which will be used in evidence against me?"
"I don't imagine there will be any need for that," I said.
The constable just raised his eyebrows, looking more mystified than ever. He probably thought he ought to be taking us before a doctor instead of a magistrate.
Presently we arrived at the Court House and were taken inside. At a tall desk, like a pulpit, an elderly man was writing in a book. He looked very dignified and severe.
"What's the charge?" he said without looking up.
"Breaking windows, Your Honour," said the constable.
The magistrate put down his pen and gazed at the three of us through shaggy grey eyebrows.
"Who, the boy?" he asked, jerking his head towards me.
"No, Your Honour," said the constable. "The old gentleman here."
The magistrate put on his glasses and peered, scowling, at John Dolittle.
"Do you plead guilty or not guilty?" he asked.
"Guilty, Your Honour," said the Doctor firmly.
"I don't understand," murmured the magistrate. "You—at your time of life!—Breaking windows!—What did you do it for?"
The Doctor was suddenly overcome with embarrassment. He blushed again; shuffled his feet; coughed.
"Come, come!" said the magistrate. "You must have had some reason. Do you hold any grudge against the owner of the house?"
"Oh, no," said the Doctor. "None whatever. I didn't even know whose place it was."
"Are you a glazier? Do you repair windows?—I mean, were you looking for a job?"
"Oh, no," said the Doctor, more uncomfortable than ever.
"Then why did you do it?"
"I—er—did it—er—just for a lark, Your Honour!" said the Doctor, smiling blandly.
His Honour sat up as though some one had stuck a pin in him.
"For a lark!" he thundered. "And do you think the people of this town consider it a lark to have their houses damaged in this ruffianly manner? A lark! Well, if you are trying to be funny at the expense of the Law we will have to teach you a lesson. What is your calling—I mean what do you do—when you're not breaking windows?"
At this question poor John Dolittle looked as though he was about to sink into the floor.
"I am a doctor," he said in a very low voice.
"A doctor!—Ah!" cried the magistrate. "Perhaps you hoped to get some patients—bombarding a house with stones! You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Well, you have admitted the charge. So far as I know it's a first offence. But I shall inflict the severest penalty that the law allows me. You are fined five pounds and costs!"
"But I haven't any money," said the Doctor, brightening up.
"Humph!" snorted His Honour. "Can't you borrow funds? Have you no friends?"
"No friends with money," said the Doctor, glancing at me with a hopeful smile.
"I see," said the magistrate, taking up his pen. "In that case the law gives me no choice. The court regrets the necessity of imposing this sentence on a man of your years and profession. But you have brought it on yourself and you certainly deserve a lesson. In default of the fine you must go to jail for thirty days."
The Doctor gave a big sigh of relief. He shook me warmly by the hand. "Splendid! We've done it, Stubbins!" he whispered as he picked up his satchel.
There was a knocking on the door. Another policeman entered. Behind him was a large flouncy sort of woman wearing many pearls. With her was a coachman, also a footman. The magistrate got up at once and came down out of his pulpit to greet her.
"Ah, Lady Matilda Beamish!" he cried. "Come in. What can we do for you?"
"Oh, good heavens!" I heard the Doctor groan behind me.
"I do hope, Your Honour," said the lady, "that I'm not too late. I came as fast as I could. It was in my house that the window was broken. Is the trial over? I thought you would need me as a witness."
"The case has been already dealt with," said the magistrate. "The accused pleaded guilty—so there was no need of witnesses beyond the constable who made the arrest."
"Oh, I was so upset!" said the woman, fluttering a lace handkerchief before her face. "We were holding the monthly meeting of the County Chapter of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Refreshments had been served and we were just about to call the meeting to business when a large stone came flying through the drawing-room window and dropped right into the punch bowl. Oh, it was terrible! Sir Willoughby Wiffle was splashed all over! As for myself, I positively swooned away."
She sank down into a seat and the coachman and footman stood about her, fanning her. The magistrate sent one of the policemen to get a glass of water.
"Dear Lady Matilda," he said, "I cannot tell you how sorry I am this outrage should have occurred at your home. However, the prisoner has defaulted on his fine and he is being sent to jail. It will teach him a lesson. I just have to book some particulars. I will be with you in a moment."
Up to this the woman had been so busy, gasping and fluttering and talking, she had not even looked at the Doctor or myself. Now, when the magistrate left her to go back to his pulpit, she saw us for the first time. The Doctor turned quickly away from her gaze. But she sprang up and cried out,
"Your Honour, is that the man who broke my window?"
"Yes," said the magistrate, "that is he. Why? Do you know him?"
"Know him!" cried Lady Matilda Beamish, bursting into smiles and gurgles of joy. "Why, I dote on him! My dear Doctor Dolittle, I am delighted to see you again! But tell me, why didn't you come into the meeting, instead of throwing a stone in instead?"
"I didn't know it was your house," said the Doctor sheepishly.
The woman turned gushingly to the magistrate.
"Oh, Your Honour," she cried, "this is the most wonderful man in the world. A doctor—that is, he was a doctor, but he turned to animals instead. Well, five years ago Topsy, my prize French poodle, had puppies. And she was dreadfully ill—so were the puppies, all of them. The sweetest little things you ever saw—but, oh, so ill! I sent for all the vets in the county. It was no use. Topsy and her children got worse and worse. I wept over them for nights on end. Then I heard about Doctor Dolittle and sent for him. He cured them completely, the whole family. All the puppies won prizes in the show. Oh, I'm so happy to see you again, Doctor! Tell me, where are you living now?"
"In jail," said John Dolittle—"or, that is, I expect to be, for a while."
"In jail!" cried the lady. "Oh, the window—of course. I had forgotten about that. But let me see"—she turned to the magistrate again—"wasn't there something said about a fine?"
"Yes," said His Honour. "Five pounds. The prisoner was unable to pay it. He was sentenced to thirty days in jail instead."
"Oh, good gracious!" cried the lady. "We can't have that. I'll pay the fine for him. Atkins, go and bring me my purse. I left it in the carriage."
The footman bowed and went out.
The Doctor came forward quickly.
"It's awfully good of you, Lady Matilda," he began, "but I—"
"Now, Doctor, Doctor," said she, shaking a fat finger at him, "don't thank me. We can't possibly let you go to jail. It will be a pleasure for me to pay it. In fact, I'm not sure I wouldn't have considered it a privilege to have my window broken, if I had only known it was you who had done it. A very great man," she whispered aside to the magistrate, "a little odd and—er—eccentric, but a very great man. I'm so glad I got here in time."
The purse was brought by the footman and the money was counted out. The Doctor made several more attempts to interfere but he stood no chance of getting himself heard against the voice of the grateful, talkative lady who was determined to rescue him from jail.
"Very well," said the magistrate finally, "the fine is paid and the prisoner is released from custody—with a caution. This was a particularly flagrant breach of the law and it is to be hoped that the prisoner will take the lesson to heart. The Court wishes to express the opinion that the lady against whose premises and property the offence was committed has acted in more than a generous manner in paying the fine imposed."
The policeman beckoned to the Doctor and me. He led us down a passage, opened a door, and showed us out—into the street.