Chapter 4 - Myths and Legends of the Old Plantation by Joel Harris

HOW BROTHER FOX WAS TOO SMART

Uncle Remus chuckled a moment over the escape of Brother Rabbit, and then turned his gaze upward toward the cobwebbed gloom that seemed to lie just beyond the rafters. He sat thus silent and serious a little while, but finally squared himself around in his chair and looked the little boy full in the face. The old man’s countenance expressed a curious mixture of sorrow and bewilderment. Catching the child by the coat-sleeve, Uncle Remus pulled him gently to attract his attention.

“Hit look like ter me,” he said presently, in the tone of one approaching an unpleasant subject, “dat no longer’n yistiddy I see one er dem ar Favers chillun clim’in’ dat ar big red-oak out yan’, en den it seem like dat a little chap ‘bout yo’ size, he tuck’n start up ter see ef he can’t play smarty like de Favers’s yearlin’s. I dunner w’at in de name er goodness you wanter be a-copyin’ atter dem ar Faverses fer. Ef you er gwine ter copy atter yuther folks, copy atter dem w’at’s some ‘count. Yo’ pa, he got de idée dat some folks is good ez yuther folks; but Miss Sally, she know better. She know dat dey aint no Favers ’pon de top side er de yeth w’at kin hol’ der han’ wid de Abercrombies in p’int er breedin’ en raisin’. Dat w’at Miss Sally know. I bin keepin’ track er dem Faverses sence way back yan’ long ‘fo’ Miss Sally wuz born’d. Olé Cajy Favers, he went ter de po’house, en ez ter dat Jim Favers, I boun’ you he know de inside er all de jails in dish yer State er Jawjy. Dey allers did hate niggers kase dey aint had none, en dey hates um down ter dis day.

“Year ‘fo’ las’,” Uncle Remus continued, “I year yo Unk’ Jeems Abercrombie tell dat same Jim Favers dat ef he lay de weight er he han’ on one er his niggers, he’d slap a load er buck shot in ’im; en, bless yo’ soul, honey, yo’ Unk’ Jeems wuz des de man ter do it. But dey er monst’us perlite unter me, dem Faverses is,” pursued the old man, allowing his indignation, which had risen to a white heat, to cool off, “en dey better be,” he added spitefully, “kase I knows der pedigree fum de fus’ ter de las’, en w’en I gits my Affikin up, dey aint nobody, ’less it’s Miss Sally ’erse’f, w’at kin keep me down.

“But dat aint needer yer ner dar,” said Uncle Remus, renewing his attack upon the little boy. “W’at you wanter go copyin’ atter dem Favers chillun fer? Youer settin’ back dar, right dis minnit, bettin’ longer yo’se’f dat I aint gwine ter tell Miss Sally, en dar whar youer lettin’ yo’ foot slip, kaze I’m gwine ter let it pass dis time, but de ve’y nex’ time w’at I ketches you in hollerin’ distuns er dem Faverses, right den en dar I’m gwine ter take my foot in my han’ en go en tell Miss Sally, en ef she don’t natally skin you ’live, den she aint de same ’oman w’at she useter be.

“All dish yer copyin’ atter deze yer Faverses put me in min’ er de time w’en Brer Fox got ter copyin’ atter Brer Rabbit. I done tole you ’bout de time w’en Brer Rabbit git de game fum Brer Fox by makin’ like he dead?"

The little boy remembered it very distinctly, and said as much.

“Well, den, olé Brer Fox, w’en he see how slick de trick wuk wid Brer Rabbit, he say ter hisse’f dat he b’leeve he’ll up’n try de same kinder game on some yuther man, en he keep on watchin’ fer he chance, twel bimeby, one day, he year Mr. Man comin’ down de big road in a one-hoss waggin, kyar’n some chickens, en some eggs, en some butter, ter town. Brer Fox year ‘im comin’, he did, en w’at do he do but go en lay down in de road front er de waggin. Mr. Man, he druv ‘long, he did, cluckin’ ter de hoss en hummin’ ter hisse’f, en w’en dey git mos’ up ter Brer Fox, de hoss, he shy, he did, en Mr. Man, he tuck’n holler Wo! en de hoss, he tuck’n wo’d. Den Mr. Man, he look down, en he see Brer Fox layin’ out dar on de groun’ des like he cole en stiff, en w’en Mr. Man see dis, he holler out:

“‘Heyo! Dar de chap w’at been nabbin’ up my chickens, en somebody done gone en shot off a gun at ’im, w’ich I wish she’d er bin two guns-dat I does!’

“Wid dat, Mr. Man he druv on en lef Brer Fox layin’ dar. Den Brer Fox, he git up en run ‘roun’ thoo de woods en lay down front er Mr. Man ag’in, en Mr. Man come drivin’ ’long, en he see Brer Fox, en he say, sezee;-

“’Heyo! Yer de ve’y chap what been ‘stroyin’ my pigs. Somebody done gone en kilt ’im, en I wish dey’d er kilt ‘im long time ago.’

“Den Mr. Man, he druv on, en de waggin-w’eel come mighty nigh mashin’ Brer Fox nose; yit, all de same, Brer Fox lipt up en run ‘roun’ ’head er Mr. Man, en lay down in de road, en w’en Mr. Man come ’long, dar he wuz all stretch out like he big ’nuff fer ter fill a two-bushel baskit, en he look like he dead ’nuff fer ter be skint. Mr. Man druv up, he did, en stop. He look down pun Brer Fox, en den he look all ‘roun’ fer ter see w’at de ’casion er all deze yer dead Fox is. Mr. Man look all ‘roun’, he did, but he aint see nothin’, en needer do he year nothin’. Den he set dar en study, en bimeby he ’low ter hisse’f, he did, dat he had better ‘zamin’ w’at kinder kuse zeeze done bin got inter Brer Fox fambly, en wid dat he lit down outer de waggin, en feel er Brer Fox year; Brer Fox year feel right wom. Den he feel Brer Fox neck; Brer Fox neck right wom. Den he feel er Brer Fox in de short ribs; Brer Fox all soun’ in de short ribs. Den he feel er Brer Fox lim’s; Brer Fox all soun’ in de lim’s. Den he tu’n Brer Fox over, en, lo en beholes, Brer Fox right limber. W’en Mr. Man see dis, he say ter hisse’f, sezee:

“’Heyo, yer! how come dis? Dish yer chicken-nabber look lak he dead, but dey aint no bones broked, en I aint see no blood, en needer does I feel no bruise; en mo’n dat he wom en he limber,’ sezee. ‘Sump’n’ wrong yer, sho’! Dish yer pig-grabber mought be dead, en den ag’in he moughtent,’ sezee; ‘but ter make sho’ dat he is, I’ll des gin ’im a whack wid my w’ip-han’le,’ sezee; en wid dat, Mr. Man draw back en fotch Brer Fox a clip behime de years-pow!-en de lick come so hard en it come so quick dat Brer Fox thunk sho’ he’s a goner; but ‘fo’ Mr. Man kin draw back fer ter fetch ’im a n’er wipe, Brer Fox, he scramble ter his feet, he did, en des make tracks ’way fum dar.”

Uncle Remus paused and shook the cold ashes from his pipe, and then applied the moral:

“Dat w’at Brer Fox git fer playin’ Mr. Smarty en copyin’ atter yuther foks, en dat des de way de whole Smarty fambly gwine ter come out.”