Making a Man by Nixon Waterman

Hurry the baby as fast as you can,

Hurry him, worry him, making him a man.

Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,

Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.

Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,

Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.

Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,

Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.

Once boys grew up at a rational rate,

Now we develop a man while you wait,

Rush him through college, compel him to grab

Of every known subject a dip or a dab.

Get him in business and after the cash,

All by the time he can grow a mustache.

Let him forget he was ever a boy,

Make gold his god and its jingle his joy.

Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,

Until he wins - nervous prostration and death.