Reptilian Anatomy by Unknown Author

"Bedad, that hurt!" and Patrick held
A bleeding finger up to view.
Erstwhiles he'd poked up shrimps and such
To see just what the things would do.

The Irishman's patrons gathered 'round;
But not with sympathy — they laughed
At Paddy's little turtle scrape —
And, while the reptile crawled, they chaffed.

Howld on, I want to know pfwhere is
"His head," says Paddy's Irish tongue,
"And pfwhere's his tail?" "Why so?" says one.
"To know if I am bit or shtung!"